


Stuck in a Pit

by perpetuallyGhosting



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depersonalization, Depression, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I just made this to vent, Loneliness, Rants
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 05:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11396286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetuallyGhosting/pseuds/perpetuallyGhosting
Summary: I have been spiralling into a deep hole and decided I needed a place vent. So this is a thing now.





	1. Moving

They don't care.

Why would they?

I've known them for less then a year, but they are all I have. The only people I could sort of talk to. But, they have eachother. They have been friends since they were young. All 4 of them are close and, they don't need me. They never did. I could disappear and nothing would change for them.

So that's what I did. I left. Just like all thost times before, when I moved, when my family decided to up and leave to try and find... whatever they were trying to find. They must have found it, because from what I hear, we are staying but, isn't that what was said last time? And the time before that? 

This time, however, I left on my own. I can't move, I'm still to young, but I decided to move schools. To try and start new. I decided to do the one thing she hates the most, move. 

I don't know if I believe so strongly in this choice right now.

_(i will explain the pronoun change next chapter)_


	2. Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this depersonalization? ¯\/(ő_ő)\/¯

Her name is Bella.

Logically, I know that 'she' is me. However, it feels as though she is someone else. This body? This body is _hers_ , not mine. This is _her_ face, _her_ voice, _her_ family, _her_ friends. 

I took her from her family, from her friends, from her _life_. I feel I have to keep her body safe, away from harm and yet, sometimes _**I**_ harm her. Nothing particularly bad happened in her life, so why am I here? Why can't she be happy?

Somewhere close to two years ago, I started questioning her sexuality, her gender, her entire existence. Her, well, my name fell into this. I wanted to be called Allex. Her Mom said no. I no longer felt all that attached to the name. And so it continued. 

Izzy. Nope 

Echo. Of course not 

Redwood. Didn't stick 

Nothing. I don't want a name.  
Haven't found one for me. I want to replace her. 

Her name is Bella.  
Who does that make me? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need help


End file.
